


Soulmate Awareness Week

by orphan_account



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmate Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-03 20:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10257881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Listeners, today is the first day of Soulmate Awareness Week! The topic of soulmates, of course, is usually taboo- illegal to talk, or even think about, but for just this week the Sheriff's Secret Police, the City Council, and the vague yet menacing shadow government, came to an agreement to let all of us talk about the strange and beautiful patterns tattooing all of our skins.Listeners, call in with your own stories about your soulmate tattoos! We at the community radio would love to talk to you, and hear your own tales. I’ve got one of my own, listeners, which I’d be happy to share. Of course, you wouldn’t want to hear that, would you?





	

**Cecil:** You complete me. Literally. Before you, I was only half a body. We need to meld. Here, I got the glue gun. C’mere. Wait. Where are you going? No, stop, come back!

 

Welcome To Night Vale.

 

Listeners, today is the first day of Soulmate Awareness Week! The topic of soulmates, of course, is usually taboo- illegal to talk, or even think about, but for just this week the Sheriff's Secret Police, the City Council, and the vague yet menacing shadow government, came to an agreement to let all of us talk about the strange and beautiful patterns tattooing all of our skins.

Listeners, call in with your own stories about your soulmate tattoos! We at the community radio would love to talk to you, and hear your own tales. I’ve got one of my own, listeners, which I’d be happy to share. Of course, you wouldn’t want to hear that, would you? 

Oh. Oh, listeners, the City Council has canceled the rest of the week. Today will be the  _ only  _ day of soulmate awareness week.

I won’t get to talk with Carlos about it.

 

**Kareem: (Muffled)** You could always invite him into the station. You do that often enough.

 

**Cecil:** Listeners, Kareen is suggesting that I invite Carlos onto the show. Call in with your soulmate stories and your opinion on Kareem’s idea, and I just might!

 

**Kareem: (Muffled)** Like it matters- you’ll have him on anyway. You’re sickeningly in love.

 

**Cecil:** Kareem has just said something that I would respond to if I didn’t know that you listeners do  _ not  _ tune into the show to listen to me bicker with my interns. You tune into to hear  _ news.  _ And that’s what I’ll give you.

In  _ News,  _ all of the Sheriff’s Secret Police have the day off. Listeners, this is  _ unprecedented.  _ Not in the history of Night Vale have the Secret Police been given a vacation. There has never been a time where they were not eavesdropping, not listening for the chance that you might acknowledge an angel or two, not watching for those times when you pull out those illicit writing you covet. These police may not know what to do with this free time. If you see someone in a sheriff's uniform, maybe help them out by pointing them to the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, or even the public library.

Or not the library. If they run screaming from you when you mention the public library, just drop it.

Listeners, we have our first caller! Maureen, my old intern, just called in! Maureen, what are your experiences with soulmate tattoos?

 

**Maureen [faint sound of paint drying in the background]:** I wasn’t going to tell you, Cecil.

 

**Cecil:** Then… why’d you call in?

 

**Maureen:** Just to give my two cents on bringing Carlos in- not that anyone values my opinion.

 

**Cecil: [Silence]**

 

**Maureen:** Anyway, I think that it’d be great to have Carlos on the show! Anyway-

 

**Cecil:** No, Maureen, you have to tell us your story now! You took all the effort into calling the station, and  _ besides…  _ the Secret Police’s rule about call-in’s is that you  _ have  _ to do what the announcer says to.

 

**Kareem: [Clears throat]** Not  _ real- _

 

**Cecil:** So?

 

**Maureen:** There’s no such rule, but fine. My tattoos… aren’t conspicuous. They’re on my upper leg, and they’re small and dark- you can barely see them. I don’t think anyone but me has. 

They appeared at least a year ago- I’m not sure of the exact date, as I didn’t actually find them right away.

 

**Cecil:** Didn’t it sting? Doesn’t it normally sting, or tingle, or cramp when you get your tattoo?

 

**Maureen:** Gee, I never thought that that was supposed to happen.

Nah, I just assumed something was wrong with me. Then I passed it off as a side effect of the internship. I ignored a lot of weird shit like that. Do you know how many side effects there are of your internship? The whole thing is toxic.

But those  _ are  _ soulmate tattoos, Cecil.

 

**Cecil:** Wasn’t doubting it.

 

**Maureen:** Of course not. Anyway, it’s there, and I don’t know who my soulmate is- not without that twinge that would normally tell me. There’s a month there- any person I met during that could be them. I have no way of knowing. It could be Michelle, or  _ you,  _ or Chad… hell, even the demonic beagle puppy.

So yeah, that’s my story. I’m off now- Dark Owl Records is having a special event- Michelle and her crew are insulting people’s music tastes. Hey, it’s weekly, every Friday, you should come sometime. I never miss it.

 

**Cecil:** I’d love to, but Friday is me and Carlos’s date night.

 

**Maureen:** Well, bye, Cecil. Nice talking to you, I guess.

 

**Cecil:** Nice talking to you too, Maureen!

 

**[Click of phone hanging up]**

 

**Cecil:** Remember, we’re still taking calls! For soulmate awareness day, we at the station are accepting  _ your  _ soulmate stories, and  _ your  _ vote on Carlos coming on air. The station’s phone number is, as always,  **[inhuman rumbling],** or you can just talk into the microphone under your couch. Specifically  _ under your couch. Do not talk to or touch any other microphones you may find in your living room.  _ Thank you.

Child, do  _ you  _ have a twisting tattoo on yourself? Do you trace the outside of your tattoo at night? Have you ever wondered why? Do your parents not tell you, or tell you hogwash, the kind of thing that you  _ know  _ isn’t true? Your parents only want what’s best for you, they might think that you’re too young, or that questions about soulmates might lead to…  _ other,  _ more mature conversations, ones that they think you’re not ready to talk about. They may tell themselves that they don’t think you should hear it yet, but really, they’re just not ready themselves. If your parents don’t tell you what the marks on your skin are and that bothers you, consider talking to a school official, one that is likely to be able to help.

This has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner.

**[Sigh]** _ Science.  _

We have another caller! Let’s see… no caller ID- that’s weird. The City Council's municipal court ruled it illegal to not use caller ID last year, so this listener must not be in Night Vale. How strange. Well, let’s hear from our mystery caller! Hello?

 

**Kevin:** Cecil! How nice to hear from you!

 

**Cecil: (Disgusted)** _ Kevin? _

 

**Kevin:** The one and only! I heard you were having listeners call in, and I just  _ had  _ to. It’s been so long! Why, it seems like just yesterday Laurens and I were in charge of that little radio station of yours. 

 

**Cecil:** _ Why, yes. Just. Like. Yesterday. _

 

**Kevin:** Exactly! So, I heard you were taking soulmate stories?

 

**Cecil:** And opinions.

 

**Kevin:** Ooh, opinions! On what?

 

**Cecil:** On me having Carlos on the show.

 

**Kevin:** Oh.  _ Carlos.  _ That’s your scientist, right?

 

**Cecil: [Grinds teeth]** _ Right. _

 

**Kevin:** Oh, I remember him. He came to Desert Bluffs for a time?  **[Sigh]** It was so amazing to have a  _ scientist  _ in our little town.

 

**Cecil:** For the last time, Kevin,  _ you can’t just decide to call the desert otherworld ‘Desert Bluffs’ _

 

**Kevin:** Oh… I think I can, Cecil. But yes, I remember Carlos. I think it would be wonderful to hear from him again! So nice to hear a familiar voice on the radio.

 

**Cecil:** ...Yes. How nice. Are you going to continue to annoy- I mean, bless- us with your presence?

 

**Kevin: [Giggles]** Oh Cecil, no need to flatter me. And no, I think that’s all. For now.

 

**Cecil:** Goodbye, Kevin. 

 

**Kevin:** _ Goodbye, Cecil! _

 

**[Phone hanging up click]**

 

**Cecil:** Well, it’s always kind of awkward talking to your old… psychotic pseudo-replacement twin, especially on the radio. So, that was Kevin, who you may remember as Lauren’s assistant.

In other news, City Council has declared today a temporary municipal holiday. All government workers are allotted the rest of today off. That means, of course, everyone in Night Vale but the employees of Night Vale Community Radio. And I don’t mind. I adore being here with you, listeners, telling you  _ all about  _ the strange happenings in our strange town, but I admit there is a place I’d rather be, even if I have to stay here at the station. 

But that’s nothing you’d be interested in, and it’s not important.

Listeners, if one more of you calls in and says to invite Carlos on, I’ll do it, provided you don’t work for Strex-Corp.

And, while we wait for you to call in, I, with you in my highest esteem, dear listeners, give you the Weather. 

 

**[** [ **Song- Good News/Bad News** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM4jlvG5Z_g) **plays]**

 

**Cecil:** Welcome back, listeners! We have another listener, who’s been on hold for a little while now, and who I would happily keep on hold  _ forever,  _ but whom I am required by station rules to talk to.

Yes, here on the station line, the one and only  _ Steve Carlsberg.  _ Hello, Steve.

 

**Steve:** Hey, Cecil!

 

**Cecil:** So,  _ Steve,  _ to what may we credit your appearance on my show?

 

**Steve:** Well, Cecil, I heard you were taking stories. And you know how much I love talking about my family. I couldn’t pass up the chance to talk about Abby on your show, could I?

 

**Cecil:** Aw, Steve, it’s  _ fine.  _ You’re under no obligation to tell us anything. Honest. If you want to just hang up, no one'll begrudge you.

 

**Steve:** Oh, no, no, Cecil. I’m on your show, aren’t I?

 

**Cecil: (Muttered)** Sadly.

 

**Steve:** So I really should.

 

**Cecil:** Oh, no no no. It’s fine, here, I’ll help you.

 

**[Sound of phone being hung up.]**

 

**Cecil:** Finally. Now, I think we’ve had enough people call in for me to invite Carlos on. 

 

**Kareem: (Muffled)** _ Finally. _

 

**Cecil:** I’m… just… texting… him… now…. Done.

 

**[Mechanic ‘Ping’]**

 

**Cecil:** He says he’ll be here in a few moments- has to finish something at the lab. In the meantime, here’s a message from our sponsors. 

Never melt the deadly bee.

This has been a message from our sponsors. 

Oh, and here’s Carlos! He got here faster than I would have expected, but that’s time for you. Unreliable. 

 

**Carlos:** Ceec! Hey, I love you.

 

**Cecil:** You too.

 

**Carlos:** Ask me how often I make science jokes.

 

**Cecil: [Smiling]** How often do you make science jokes?

 

**Carlos:** Periodically!  **[Giggles]** ooh, and I’ve got another!  **[clears throat]** So, what do you do with a dead chemist?

 

**Cecil:** I don’t know, what?

 

**Carlos:** You barium.  **[Snorts]** I love scientifically accurate jokes. So, honey, what’s up?

 

**Cecil:** We’re doing a segment on soulmates- for Soulmate Awareness Week- and I thought it’d be a good idea to invite you on- you’re  _ very  _ important to this story, Carlos- and I’m sure there’s some interesting science associated with the tattoos. You know, it’s just comforting to have a  _ real scientist  _ on our show sometimes, just to show us how things work, and assure us that our demise is not impending. 

 

**Carlos:** Honestly, Ceec, I’m not a hundred percent sure. Soulmate tattoos...they’re not a thing outside of Night Vale. I didn’t have one until I came in- although it’s possible I just hadn’t met the right person.

 

**Kareem: (Muffled)** But you have one now, right Carlos?

 

**Cecil:** Yeah, he does. It’s just on his left shoulder and down half his back, and it’s pretty and purple and black. It looks like silk. I wish mine looked like that.

 

**Kareem: (Muffled)** Where even are yours, Cecil?

 

**Cecil: (Embarrassed)** I’m… not sure. They move around like the rest of my tattoos, you know? Last night I know it was on my knee, but I’m not sure right now. They look like the rest of my tattoos, just white. 

 

**Carlos:** We’re honestly not sure why they’re white. 

 

**Cecil:** But Carlos, what can you tell us about soulmates?

 

**Carlos:** Honestly, not much. The only things I know about them are from my own experience. I could always tell you about that- Ceec could help.

 

**Cecil:** Yup. I know a lot about how that worked.

 

**Carlos:** It was a while ago- a few years, maybe? Time is weird in Night Vale. But it was a while ago when I had just come to Night Vale and Cecil… professed his love for me on the radio, and-

 

**Cecil:** It’s a part of objective journalism, Carlos. 

 

**Carlos:** Sure it is. But he did, and I had hives on my arm for a week. I haven’t heard of this happening to anyone else, but no one else I’ve talked to came from Outside, so I think it may have a reaction from my skin having a foreign magic appear on it. But after the hives disappeared, those… patterns did, and it hurt. A lot. I tried all the science I knew to stop the pain- that’s a lot of science, Cecil- but nothing worked.

 

**Cecil:** You never told me it hurt!

 

**Carlos:** You didn’t need to know, and I didn’t want you to be worried.

  
And then the pain stopped, which was relieving, and then the rest happened after the bowling alley… disaster. You know. You talked about it on the radio.

 

**Cecil:** So I did. And that’s it for today, listeners. I’m going to leaving in a minute or so with a certain handsome scientist for home, so turn in next for a two-hour description of our marketing specialist’s soulmate tattoos, and have a  _ great  _ remainder of Soulmate Awareness Week!

And, as always, Goodnight, Night Vale.


End file.
